• Is South Jersey a Portal to Oz?

    “If one place is as good as any other, it’s high time we decided. Otherwise when we get there, we won’t know we’ve arrived.”—Dr. Dolittle

     

    Everybody has heard of Bigfoot. Villages all around Loch Ness hold festivals dedicated to Nessie. Even yetis living in the remote Himalayas are common knowledge. So what does a cryptid living near one of the most heavily populated areas in the world have to do to get a little recognition? Oh sure, it has a major league hockey team named after it – a pretty impressive accomplishment on the surface – but nobody knows that’s why they’re called that.¹ Even the team logo implies a more traditional demonic figure than an actual depiction of the long-leggedy beastie that is their namesake. Let’s face it, the Jersey Devil deserves a lot more pub than it has ever gotten. The Mothman is more famous, and he didn’t even arrive on the scene until the late 1960s.

    Even his colorful (if inaccurate) reputed origin is the stuff of legends. The most accepted version of the story holds that a woman named Leeds living in southern New Jersey in 1735 was expecting her thirteenth child, and she was none too happy about it. She reportedly cried out in a fit of exasperation “Let this one be a devil!” which is a pretty strange thing to say. Did she think that having a hell-spawn would make it easier to raise?

    Anyway, she supposedly gave birth to a perfectly normal boy, but as she held him, he sprouted horns, talons, a forked tail and bat wings. His feet turned to hooves, his head became elongated and his eyes began glowing red. He promptly killed at least one midwife and maybe a few siblings and possibly his mother, depending on which version of the story you read, then flew up the chimney and disappeared into the Pine Barrens, a thick forest covering part of the region. That’s where he’s been ever since, at least for the most part.

    Legends of the creature actually date back to Native American tribes living in the area, and early explorers at least heard the stories even if they didn’t encounter him themselves. But this hasn’t stopped local historians and Devil enthusiasts from trying to trace his lineage. Most agree that the parents of the beast were Deborah and Japhet Leeds, based primarily on the fact that they Standard Devilhad 12 children and lived in Leeds Point in the heart of Devil country at that time. One of their descendants runs the Jersey Devil Museum² and says that he considers the monster to be family. Hey, never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

    A minister is said to have exorcised the Devil for 100 years in 1740. Some say that this worked and that the thing was not seen again until 1840. Other sources say otherwise. In any event, this is the only case of an exorcism with an expiration date that I’ve ever come across, leaving me to wonder if the holy man who performed it thought that we might want this creature back at some point.

    Descriptions of the Devil vary in detail, but most who claim to have seen it describe something like the picture above. Its size has been reported as being from 3’ to 10’ tall and everything in between. It has been seen both on the ground and flying through the air. Others have reported seeing very different types of creatures, all of which get lumped into the Jersey Devil category. We’ll return to this later. Another more common discrepancy is the footprints left behind. They are usually hoofprints, sometimes as large as a man’s hand, but sometimes prints are found that are like a huge, three-toed bird. More often than being seen, the creature is heard. Its scream is said to be piercing and full of rage. One camper who heard something large walking around his tent late at night heard the thing scream several times and said that it was as loud as an air horn.

    Some of the more notable sightings include Joseph Bonaparte, Napoleon’s brother, who says that he ran into it around 1820 while hunting. Commodore Stephen Decatur was testing cannonballs in the countryside when he saw it flying across the sky. He claims that he fired at the creature and hit it, with no effect. (Wait. He hit a roughly human-sized object flying through the air with a cannonball? Whatever you say, Commodore.) In 1840, the year that the exorcism expired, the Devil ran amok and killed dozens of farm animals. This continued into 1841. The creature’s screams were heard coming from the woods, but posses never managed to catch up with it. I wonder how hard they tried.

    Delaware ValleyWhile sporadic sightings continued throughout the 18th and 19th centuries, it was in 1909 that all hell broke loose. Between January 16th and 23rd of that year, the Devil terrorized the Delaware Valley, putting in appearances not only in New Jersey, but also eastern Pennsylvania and northern Delaware. During that eight day period, hundreds of people saw similar (and some not so similar) creatures. Some of these were mass sightings and/or included police firing on the beast. Some of the highlights include the patrons of the Black Hawk Social Club in Camden, NJ seeing the creature watching them through a window at 1 am on January 20th.. One of the men inside somehow “scared it off” and it flew away screaming. On January 21st, a number of trolley passengers in Haddon Heights, NJ were buzzed by the Devil around 2 am. It repeatedly flew circles around the trolley, emitting its terrible scream before flying off into the night. Later that same day, two men walking down the street in West Collingswood, NJ saw what they first thought was an ostrich sitting on top of a house. They called the fire department (?), which arrived shortly thereafter and turned their hose on the thing. It started to fly off, then evidently changed its mind and came straight at them before veering off and flying away.

    And my two favorites: On the 19th, around 2:30 am, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Evans (married women didn’t have first names back then) were awakened by “a strange noise” at their home in Gloucester. They watched the Devil walk around in their yard for about ten minutes before Mr. Evans opened the window and said “Shoo!” The creature turned and barked at them before flying away.

    They made it go away by saying “shoo?” Suddenly this devil doesn’t seem all that devilish. I’ve never heard of anyone using that approach before, but it seems to work. If any of you ever run into any supernatural beastie, try telling it to “shoo” and let me know how that works out for you. Or better yet:

    On January 21st, again in Camden, Mary Sorbinski heard noises coming from her backyard around 7 pm and went out to see what was going on. She saw the monster holding her dog in its clutches and began hitting it with a broom. The creature dropped the dog, shrieked and then lunged at her. But instead of tearing her apart, it turned upward at the last second and flew away. Apparently the adrenaline had worn off by that point, because that was when she started screaming. A crowd of neighbors came running and the police were called. After two officers had arrived, the creature’s scream was heard again from nearby and the policemen ran in that direction. The officers saw the silhouette of the Devil in the darkness standing on top of a hill and emptied their revolvers at it with no effect. It flew away yet again.

    She hit it with a broom and that worked? This thing is getting less demonic by the minute. If she’d had a rubber chicken, she probably would have killed it.

    And I hate to be a one-note banjo, but I feel that I have to remind you at this point that there is no reliable record of this or any other seemingly paranormal entity ever seriously harming a human being, other than in the very dubious legend of its birth. It (or they) certainly seemed to want to hurt someone on a number of occasions, and it was almost certainly capable of doing so given the descriptions of the creature, but at the last second it always just turned and flew away. However frightening and traumatic encounters with everything from aliens to monsters to poltergeists might be, killing us seems to be strictly off limits…unless, of course, you live in Brazil. They seem to have a whole different set of rules down there, but that’s a story for another day. In any case, if you encounter anything nasty, just blow your dog whistle and hit ‘em with your rubber chicken and/or tell them to “shoo” and you should be fine.

    So the Devil seemed pretty easy to get rid of. Nevertheless, by the end of the week, the whole region was in a panic. Most trolley companies had put armed guards on their trollies to protect passengers. Schools closed and factories and businesses had to shut down when employees refused to leave their homes to go to work, even in daylight.

    Devil Prints?There were also the footprints. They seem to have been everywhere. They were so numerous in some towns that it appeared as if an army of Devils had visited them in the night. Most of them were hoofprints, but of varying sizes, just like the creatures reported during the invasion. The prints went over and under fences, from the ground up to rooftops and from one roof to another. They often stopped abruptly in the middle of streets or fields, all of which is reminiscent of “the Devil’s footprints” found in Devon, England in 1855, but on a much larger scale. Dogs brought in to follow the scent of whatever left these tracks declined to do so. Maybe they were aware that the moratorium on killing humans didn’t apply to them. Dogs aren’t fools.

    Then, on January 24th, it just stopped. Your guess is as good as anyone’s as to what triggered or ended the onslaught. There was only one sighting reported in February, and for the last 100+ years there have only been a dozen or so reported encounters per year.

    What originally fascinated me about the Devil is that it seems unlikely that we are even talking about one species, let alone one creature. He is usually described in the generally agreed upon manner, with a few more or less minor differences here and there, such as size. The smaller ones were also frequently described as having sleeker bodies, often compared to that of a kangaroo. Some had horns like a goat while others had antlers. But some others witnesses have described seeing a creature with four legs, a body like a horse, and a dragon-like head and wings. Sometimes the wings were so small that they would probably have been described as comical on such a large creature if the witnesses hadn’t been so freaked out. Still others have seen something in the area like a huge feline that seemed somehow demonic. Perhaps all of us would describe a giant cat as looking a bit diabolical if we were to stumble upon it unexpectedly in New Jersey, but the witnesses seem to suggest that there was something disturbingly otherworldly about this creature. It just didn’t look like something that would come from here…as opposed to the other creatures I guess. One witness even said that it had what almost appeared to be an evil grin, like some kind of Cheshire Cat from Hell. And of course, the ubiquitous big hairy monsters have also been seen, although some of the ones in Jersey weren’t that big and had faces that were completely covered by hair, assuming that they had faces.

    Horse DevilI mentioned earlier that the Native Americans in the region knew about the Devil before any settlers showed up. This is true of most areas of high strangeness. The Utes of northeastern Utah want nothing to do with the place that has come to be known as Skinwalker Ranch. The area around Dulce, New Mexico, home of the Jicarilla Apaches, has been a hotbed of paranormal activity for as far back as anyone knows. The region of West Virginia where the whole Mothman/Silver Bridge saga took place was one of the few areas of North America uninhabited by humans until the Europeans showed up. The local natives steered a wide birth around it. There also appears to have been a mysterious group of mound builders who lived in the area at some time, but we don’t know much about them.

    We find this to be true again and again. When white people announce that a lot of weird stuff seems to happen in a certain place, we aren’t telling the Native Americans there anything that they didn’t already know. This is significant because it indicates that there is something unique about these places that remains consistent. The amount of paranormal activity ebbs and flows over time, but the locations remain constant. It’s only our short memories combined with most people’s refusal to take such stories seriously that leads us to believe that these phenomena just suddenly erupt in random locations, although sometimes that may happen as well. Outbreaks of cattle mutilations and a variety of other bizarre occurrences take place every few years a fairly short drive from where I sit writing this, although you’d probably never know it just by watching the local news. Something similar may well be true of wherever you are right now.

    Is it possible that there are areas of instability in our world – eddies in the space-time continuum – in which portals open between this and other planets or dimensions? What appear to be portals between worlds have been reported in some places like those mentioned above. Some Native Americans have informed us that we will never catch or kill creatures like Sasquatch because they can step in and out of our reality at will. Maybe this is easier to do in some places more than others. Perhaps sometimes creatures enter our world without meaning to and vice versa.³ That could put anybody in a bad mood.

    ________________________________________________________________________________________

    ¹The Devils aren’t the only sports team named after a paranormal entity. There’s also the Vermont Lake Monsters, named after Champ, the Lake Champlain monster; the Casper Ghosts, unfortunately no longer around; and the Las Vegas 51s, named after Area 51 and with a gray alien with baseball stitching on his head as their mascot. (I would include a photo, but MLB would sue the crap out of me.) These are all minor league baseball teams, who clearly have a better sense of humor than their major league counterparts. So the Devils are the only big league team named after a local cryptid, although the Cleveland Indians mascot looks a lot more like descriptions of the Grinning Man than any actual human I’ve ever seen. I’d run like hell if I ever bumped into something that looks like him in a dark alley.

    ²Although since its URL now redirects to a paranormal bookstore site, I’m guessing that the museum didn’t make it.

    ³More on this to come as well.

    and all the devils are here

     


  • Living Doll

    “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”—Mark Twain

     

    A few days ago, another “based on real events” movie that has nothing to do with the actual story was released. That doesn’t bother me too much. If stupid people want to believe that these things really happened, what do I care? Smart people who want to know more can always look it up on their own if they’re so inclined. I have no interest in doing movie reviews, nor do I feel any compulsion to set the record straight. I haven’t even seen the movie in question and have no plans to do so, but I could tell from the previews that it was complete fiction.

    I already knew a little about the Annabelle story, and I originally only looked into it further just to satisfy my own curiosity. I certainly had no plans to write an article about it. But what I found was that the whole case was a veritable “how to” guide for screwing up a paranormal investigation via paranoid religious superstitions and preconceived notions leading to predictable conclusions. This made me so damn mad that I’m now going to spout off about it for another eighteen paragraphs.

    Ed and LorraineThe case was investigated by Ed and Lorraine Warren, the most famous American ghost busters of the latter half of the 20th century. Almost everything that follows, other than my ranting of course, comes straight from their website, so no one can accuse me of going off over a third party account written by some hack who wasn’t even there. I shrug those things off like the health warnings on a beer can. Also, I did read the movie synopsis on good old Wikipedia just to be thorough. That was a waste of time, but at least not of $8. It’s all about how the doll came to be possessed before the real story began. At least that is something that we can speculate about since no one ever bothered to try to find out about the doll’s actual past.

    So here’s what happened…allegedly.

    In 1970, a woman bought an “antique,” oversized Raggedy Ann doll to give to her daughter for her birthday. Contrary to what was portrayed in the movie, this was not some creepy looking psycho doll that only a nutcase would want in their home. It was just your standard, cute old Raggedy Ann doll, albeit much larger than the ones we see today. Donna, the birthday girl, and her roommate Angie were both nursing students living in a small apartment somewhere in or around Connecticut. It only took them a few days to realize that there was something peculiar going on with this doll. They began to notice that she seemed to change positions while they were out. At first, these changes were subtle, like finding her with her legs crossed or her hands in her lap when they were certain that this was not how they had left her. Later they would come home to find her in a different room than where she had been left. A few times they found her standing, propped up against a piece of furniture. At least once they found her kneeling on the floor. When they tried to stand her up or place her kneeling themselves, they found that they couldn’t get her to stay that way. She just flopped over like Raggedy Ann dolls are wont to do. They found all of this to be somewhat unusual, but not particularly alarming. The only one who was really bothered by it was their friend Lou, who seems to have been Angie’s boyfriend. He was creeped out by all of this and wanted them to get rid of the doll.

    Annabelle and Donna?Before long, they started finding notes written in childlike handwriting, always in pencil and on parchment paper. They said either “Help Us” or “Help Lou.” They were baffled by what these notes could mean. They didn’t know who “us” could be referring to, and Lou was in no imminent danger. Weirder still, they had no parchment paper in the house on which the notes could have been written.

    This was all a bit unnerving, but they still didn’t feel at all threatened. However, when Donna came home one day to find what appeared to be blood stains on the back of the doll’s hands and chest, they decided that it was time to try to find some answers. They found a medium who was willing to come to their apartment and conduct a séance. The medium was able to contact the spirit of a girl named Annabelle Higgins who claimed to have been murdered when she was only seven in the field on which the apartment building now stood. Annabelle said that she was happy living with Donna and Angie and asked permission to inhabit the doll so that she could stay with them. Feeling pity for the poor little girl, they both said that this would be fine. Lou still didn’t like any of this and continued to warn them that the doll was evil and that they should get rid of it. As it turns out, maybe Lou should have been nicer.

    Shortly thereafter, Lou awoke one night from a bad dream to find himself paralyzed and terrified. Looking around his room, he saw Annabelle lying at his feet. The doll then slid its way up his body, placed its hands on his neck and began to strangle him. He lost consciousness and woke up the next morning convinced that this hadn’t been a dream.

    The next day, he was at the girls’ apartment preparing to leave on a trip with Angie when they heard rustling sounds coming from Donna’s room. Lou went in to investigate and found the room empty except for Annabelle, who was lying in a corner. He sensed a presence behind him and turned around. Suddenly, he felt a searing pain in his chest and fell to the floor. When they opened his bloodstained shirt, they found seven scratches, described as claw marks, four horizontal and three vertical. These scratches healed quickly and were gone in two days. The Warrens later identified these as “the symbolic mark of the beast.”

    I could use a little clarification on some things here. Unfortunately, I’m not going to get it. In a quote from an apparent interview with the Warrens (but not on their website), Lou says that during the first attack “I saw myself wake up” and “saw myself being strangled,” as if he had been watching this from outside of his body. So was this a dream, an episode of sleep paralysis, an out of body experience, or some combination of the three? The lack of further details makes it impossible to make even an informed guess. The true believers just seem to take it on faith that the demon doll teleported to Lou’s home and strangled him to unconsciousness, though they completely gloss over the question of why she didn’t just finish the job and kill him. And if you can figure out how seven scratches on the chest constitute the mark of the beast, please let me know. I thought it was 666 on your forehead. Besides, I’ve had some mysterious, burning scratches of my own, and I haven’t been possessed yet…that I know of.

    I suppose that I should mention at this point that that there is not one credible case of any sort of spirit ever killing anyone directly. People have been reported to have died of heart attacks. People have been said to have died of fright, whatever that means. People have even committed suicide in relation to paranormal phenomena, but there are no reliable reports that I’m aware of in which anyone was strangled or murdered in any other way by any sort of supernatural entity. So maybe Annabelle did want to kill Lou, but she wasn’t allowed to for some reason. Maybe, but I have my doubts that this attack really happened.

    So now the girls were scared too. Donna contacted an Episcopal priest named Hegan. He passed the matter on to one of his superiors, Father Cooke, who contacted the Warrens. After speaking with the three participants, the Warrens concluded that the doll was not possessed but was being manipulated by a demon because demons don’t possess inanimate objects. Everything that had happened thus far was preliminary to the demon taking possession of one of the girls or killing them both. They seem to have based this conclusion solely on the fact that no one had seen the ghost of Annabelle. Personally, I think that when you bring in a “certified demonologist” (not a real thing), more often than not, you’re going to get a diagnosis of “demon.”

    So Father Cooke performed an exorcism on the apartment and the Warrens took Annabelle. On the drive home, supposedly their car stalled a number of times on the curving roads, causing them to lose power steering and brakes and putting them in real danger. This all stopped when Ed Warren threw holy water on the doll. After all of this, when they got home, they inexplicably just tossed the doll in a chair without taking any precautions to protect themselves. Over the next several weeks, the doll allegedly levitated a few times, a new trick, and moved around the house while no one was home. It was also blamed for causing a serious auto accident involving a priest in which a number of people were badly injured. This is given as just one example of “many such events that occurred over the next few years.”

    The next few years? People are being seriously injured – nearly killed – and you don’t do anything for a few years? And what were some of these other events alluded to?

    Occult MuseumThey eventually had the case built for Annabelle where she still resides today in their occult museum of cursed objects. It has presumably been sufficiently sealed and blessed to prevent her from doing further damage, although she is blamed for causing one more misfortune. A young man who mocked her in her case was killed in a motorcycle accident after being thrown out of the museum for being a jerk. His girlfriend was badly hurt and was hospitalized for a year. What does that say about how well that case works? And if demons don’t attach themselves to inanimate objects, why is it still hanging around that doll?

    So now my critical analysis (or obnoxious nitpickery) begins in earnest. First of all, if any inquiries were made at the shop where the doll was purchased as to its history, this isn’t mentioned. Are you freakin’ kidding me? That’s among the first things that you do in a case like this. God only knows what they might have found out. Next, there’s absolutely nothing that separates this case from other cases deemed to be the work of poltergeists. In fact, this one is a little tame compared to some. In none of these other cases was anyone ever possessed or murdered. They usually only last a few months and then just go away.

    We also have no idea if there ever was an Annabelle Higgins. Although the medium was unable to determine a time frame for Annabelle, there have been newspapers in New England for hundreds of years. They could have looked to see if there had been any murders of little girls fitting her description in that area. I have serious doubts myself that there was ever an Annabelle Higgins, but to not even check because you’ve already made up your mind that this is the work of something “inhuman and demonic” is just plain sloppy. I hate to be a prick (even though I’m really good at it), but this whole “investigation” verges on metaphysical malpractice.

    It seems to me that Ed Warren thought that he knew a lot of things that he didn’t. That’s what almost inevitably happens when you filter everything through a dogmatic belief system. If your religious beliefs tell you that demons are stalking us and lying in wait to ambush us at every turn, then you start to interpret every paranormal entity as being a demon. There is also evidence to infer that at least some of these beings tend to behave in accordance with our beliefs. Is that why only Lou was attacked, or was Annabelle only being nice to Donna and Angie because it was trying to lure them into her demonic trap, as the Warrens maintained? But wouldn’t an attack on Lou right in front of Angie also scare them off as well, as it ultimately did? Oh my, things certainly get complicated when we just assume an evil intent.

    So was Annabelle really evil? None of the notes that she left were threatening, and neither of the women who never minded her being there were ever harmed – only Lou, who was convinced that the doll was evil and wanted to get rid of it. I think that it’s only fair to ask you to consider who threw the first punch in that fight. Some people of a particular mindset might say that the girls were duped and that he alone was the one who figured out the doll’s demonic nature. This is why he was attacked. Perhaps.

    Annabelle in her caseThe Warrens would almost certainly agree, but they saw demons everywhere they looked. Had they and others taken a point of view more like Colin Wilson’s and tried to see it from the spirit’s perspective, they might have found, as he did, that these entities usually return hostility with hostility, just like most humans and other animals. Both the priest who had the car accident and the young man who was killed had just challenged Annabelle‘s ability to harm anyone. If she was responsible for what happened to them, it was clearly a colossal overreaction on her part, but you don’t poke the supernatural bear.

    Spirits that aren’t treated as evil invaders can be mischievous and even destructive at times, but Wilson found that in many cases things never got really nasty until people started taking measures to rid themselves of their unwanted guests. Exorcisms, he found, were a particularly bad idea in some cases and only made them angry. Some will take this as proof that these spirits were actually demons, but if that’s the case, then why didn’t the exorcisms work? Maybe it was because there was nothing demonic about them and they were offended at the implication.

    While I do respect the Warrens’ sincerity and willingness to help, I also suspect that there was something of the showman in them that enjoyed playing the role of the heroes riding in to save the poor, frightened, confused victims of a ruthless demonic attack. I also gather that they sometimes brought along a small entourage of disciples and reporters on their investigations. If that’s true, it was unusual at the time and perhaps a bit revealing. Today, of course, they would have their own TV show, so maybe they were just ahead of their time.

    and all the devils are here